As humans, we are a species of storytellers. From cave paintings to blockbuster movies and bestselling books, we all love to hear and tell a good story. Our favorite movies or books are entertaining, captivating and even liberating.
And whether we realize it or not, we live our lives in story form as well. But when it comes to the story we tell about ourselves, our tendency can be to limit, mask, box-in and build a small persona about who we are and what we can do.
If I asked you to tell me your wildest dream of the life you’d love, you could probably come up with an amazing story right? Okay, some of you may need a poke or two from a cattle prod, but you’re just out of practice. Perhaps you’d tell me your story of being a doctor flying a small plane around Polynesian islands taking care of the natives, or an entrepreneur who is financially set for life from his software program that helps others manage their money.
Think of your version of that story for a minute. How does it make you feel? Pretty damn good right? Now switch gears and think about the current story you tell yourself about your life. Are you “boxing yourself in” and limiting your life by holding onto stories like:
“I’m a dabbler and can never really be successful at anything.”
“I’m a square peg in a round hole with this career and that’s how it has to be.”
“My Dad never loved me so I didn’t learn how to love others.”
“I’m a cancer survivor but I’m sure it’ll come back someday.”
“I’m a poser and very soon I’ll be found out and fired.”
And on and on it goes. If you talked to others the way you talk to yourself, you’d get punched in the mouth (and you’d deserve it).
Life is not a masquerade party, and yet so many won’t reveal their real selves and live their unique story because they are bogged down in their old, limiting stories. And guess what? The most important job you have in life is to let the real you out, to follow what’s in your heart and your gut – not to keep up appearances, or be a square peg in a round hole, or play the victim or martyr, or follow the ‘shoulds’ of life.
And why do we follow the story we’ve always told? Because it’s an easier play, it’s a grooved habit to stick with the smaller, somewhat comfortable story. And let’s face facts; it’s freakin’ hard to drop the story you’ve been telling yourself for years. But realize that by continually believing and telling your “small story”, you’re simply prolonging the misery of wondering: “Is this all there is to life??”
Stop agreeing to your mind-made limits before the bell tolls for you and you miss your chance to live your real story. This is your shot. Today.
So how do you change your story? Uh, hello, you write a new one! That’s it? Yes that’s it, don’t complicate it with excuses – you wrote the current one, so you can write the new one. Only now it’s not going to be done by default; now you’re going to actively write your story and your character as the one you want…you know, the one deep down that you haven’t told people about. And yes, at times it’ll feel a little sketchy, like the first time your caught air on your banana-seat bike, but it’s also exciting. And it’ll get more solid as you go along.
Don’t wait until tomorrow. Sit down and actually write out your new story. Don’t worry about the “how”. Just write out the story that you want to begin living today and revise it as you go during the next few weeks.
Drop the posturing, the attitude, the anger, the weakness and the misery – that’s your old story. To make changes in your life, you’ve got to write a new story. And you are the author.
Cheers.
Leave me your comments and questions below.
[...] Now flip it around and write down how you will feel if you never attempt your big dream. Answer for yourself how staying on the sidelines will affect the rest of your life. Will you be stronger or weaker? Will you be more or less of the person you know you can be? [...]