MANnerisms: #4 Deal With It or Shut The Hell Up

Do you want your relationship with your wife or girlfriend to be great? To be much less stressful like it was way back when?

How about the rest of your family, your friends, and your business associates?

Would you like to reduce stress and tension that you’re feeling about those around you? Then it’s time to start behaving like the man you want to be.

And here’s the key: when you’re faced with a situation where someone does something you don’t like, deal with it right there and then. Speak your peace, make your thoughts known, get it out in the open. If not immediately, then do so at the first chance possible that day. Don’t let the day end without dealing with it.

By doing this you’re putting a stop the viscous cycle of piling more and more stress on yourself as you hold onto negative feelings and assumptions. Plus you’re also being a straight shooter – a definite characteristic of a mature man. You’re giving the other party a chance to clarify, explain or defend their behavior, which is fair, as you may have taken what they said or did the wrong way.

The other half of this MANnerism is perhaps even more important. And that is, if you don’t address the issue immediately (or sometime that day), then you must simply let it go. Be finished with it and forget it. The worst thing you can do is ruminate, get angrier and angrier, and add it to a list of grievances in your mind on your wife or whoever it is. There is a very small window of time to deal with an issue and as a ‘real man’, you either deal with it when it happens or you let it go forever. Do not hold a list.

By holding a list you not only place stress on yourself but you begin the downward spiral and deterioration of the relationship. It also means that you’re being passive-aggressive which is not how mature men act – it’s the way children act. Your need to be right or to not let someone ‘do that to you’ needs to be dropped if you’re ever going to be the man you want to be and enjoy the success that comes with that.

This does not mean you’ll always be able to solve these issues but they certainly won’t eat away at you for the next week (or the next six months). The other bonus here is that your anger or negative feelings won’t flare up and cause you stress the next time you disagree with the person in question. Release yourself and others from keeping score in your relationships.

So again, if your wife (or someone else) says or does something you don’t like, that doesn’t sit well with you – deal with it now or forever shut the hell up and let it go. Nothing changes in your life until you change your thoughts and your behaviors.

Leave me your comments and reactions below, cheers.

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