I’m so tired of hearing men mention the ‘fear of failure’ as a reason for not moving their lives forward that I could barf (I hope I’m not driving when it happens). Don’t you realize that failure is critical to every success? And that the larger the success, the more failures you’ll have to go through to get there? It seems everyone has forgotten that old saying, “If at first you don’t succeed…”
The notion that success is somehow devoid of failure, or perhaps that the successful people don’t fail is so far out of whack that it’s laughable. Here’s the cold, hard truth: if you’re going to succeed at anything, you will fail along the way. And probably more than you care to. The question that will change your life is, “How do you react to those failures?”
It’s time to really shift your thinking on this entire topic, hence the title of this article – Bring On The Failure.
I fail all the time. Sometimes it’s small, sometimes it’s rather large and costs a lot of money, but my ongoing thought is that failure is a positive sign, it’s turning over stones to find the right answer, it’s the swing-and-a-miss that I have to take in order to hit a homer at some point.
The main issue that most tend to forget is that failing is not some big, dark, end of the line, you’re a bad person and doomed to the gallows kind of thing. Failing simply means that you’re in the game, and that’s where you should be. It means you’re out there giving it your best and like any game, you don’t always win; failing is part and parcel of playing the game. And being in the game is the place to be because no one ever accomplished anything sitting on the sidelines. Ever.
Remember when you were a kid trying to learn how to ride a bike, a two-wheeler as we used to call them? You didn’t pedal one revolution, fall over and then say, “I’m such a failure! I’ve failed at this today so it’s not for me. Dad please sell this bike immediately.” Of course you didn’t. You realized you had to keep pedaling so you got up and tried again. And yet so many of us live our lives as if a failure is the signal to stop. It’s not, it’s the signal to learn and keep going.
If you’re letting failure continually knock you off course, or you think you can’t take anymore failure, then I want you to indelibly etch this in your brain: You are going to fail. And…that doesn’t mean it’s the end, it’s simply a signal, a milestone that you’re on the way to success.
For some of you, it’s actually your ego that’s preventing you from creating an amazing life. You don’t want people to see you fail so you never really go for it, never make that big change, never put your neck on the line for your dreams. Wow, imagine the regrets you’ll be having at the end of your days? That’s a deathbed conversation I don’t want to be having with myself. Good luck with that.
So here are your must-do next steps:
1) You’ve all heard of the acronym D-I-Y; it stands for Do It Yourself right? Well here’s a new one for you: D-W-I-T. This one stands for Do Whatever It Takes and if you’re really going to live the life you’ve imagined, then this needs to be your new motto. Tack it up by your computer, in your car and on the bathroom mirror as a reminder. And,
2) The next time something doesn’t work out, a huge new obstacle appears or you have a new big-fat-fail…I want you to get up from where you are, muster all the emotion you can and yell, that’s right yell, “IS THAT ALL YA GOT, HUH? IS THAT ALL YA GOT? CUZ I AIN’T QUITTIN’!”
This will not only change your physiology and energy but it also creates a change in your brain. Your mindset suddenly shifts from victim and failure to someone who can take whatever is thrown at him. In other words you become success-oriented and you stay in the game. Try it! It’s like magic.
Listen, I fail every week at something. And when I’m really making headway I fail at something everyday because I’m in the game, creating, taking chances, swinging like good ol’ Babe Ruth himself. So here’s to failure, a sure sign that you’re in the game. And bring it on…cuz I ain’t quittin’!
Michael, you are so totally on the mark here.
And even beyond overt fear of failure, there are deeper, more insidious levels.
Just (re-)reading what T. Harv has to say about the difference between ‘wanting’ and ‘committing’ and I’d say that even folks (such as me) who spout “Fail forward” and other stuff, and who know the significance of decision and commitment, can waffle on it, and the waffling isn’t just about being open to new opportunities or wanting to keep multiple balls in the air, and so forth, but it’s really a sneaky, snarky, failure fear chewing away.
So good one, dude! (And wow, whaddaya think of the sentence in that last paragraph? Guess I musta meant it, huh?)
Cheers, and ‘hey’ to Lisa!
Bruce
Right on Bruce- and great point – the insidiousness of fear and how it disguises itself is very devious. That was quite the sentence, you’re a writer after my own heart. Cheers!